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On occasion, a 22-year-old from Los Angeles believes he is “the most exceptional individual alive”. Having received an NPD diagnosis, his grandiose moments frequently escalate into “really delusional”, he explains. You’re riding high and you think, ‘People will see that I stand above others … I’m destined for greatness for the world’.”

Regarding his experience, these phases of exaggerated self-worth are often followed by a “emotional downturn”, where he feels deeply emotional and self-conscious about his behavior, rendering him particularly vulnerable to disapproval from those around him. He began to think he might have narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) after looking up his traits through digital sources – and eventually diagnosed by a professional. Yet, he questions he would have accepted the diagnosis if he hadn’t already reached that realization on his own. Should you attempt to inform somebody that they have this disorder, {they’ll probably deny it|denial is a common response|they’re likely to reject it,” he says – especially if they feel a sense of being better. They operate in an altered state that they’ve constructed. And in that mindset, I am superior and {nobody can question me|no one should doubt me|my authority is absolute.”

Clarifying NPD

While people have been labelled as narcissists for over 100 years, it’s not always clear what people refer to as the term. “Everyone calls everybody a narcissist,” states a leading researcher, adding the word is “used more than it should be” – but when it comes to a professional assessment, he suggests many people keep it private, as there is widespread prejudice associated with the condition. A narcissist will tend to have “an inflated view of oneself”, “a lack of empathy”, and “a tendency to exploit relationships to seek admiration through actions such as pursuing power,” the professor says. Those with NPD may be “highly self-focused”, to the point that {“they’re not able to hold down stable relationships|“their jobs are damaged|“they have a distorted view of reality,” he adds.

I’ve never cared about anyone really, so I’ve never taken relationships seriously

Sex-Based Distinctions in The Disorder

Although three-quarters of people diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder are men, research suggests this figure does not mean there are fewer narcissistic women, but that narcissism in women is more often presented in the vulnerable narcissism type, which is under-identified. “Men’s narcissism tends to be a bit more accepted, just kind of like everything in society,” says a young adult who discusses her co-occurring conditions on social media. It’s fairly common, the two disorders co-occur.

Individual Challenges

“I really struggle with dealing with feedback and rejection,” she explains, whenever it’s suggested that I am at fault, I either go into self-protection or I withdraw entirely.” Despite having this response – which is known as “narcissistic injury”, she has been attempting to address it and take advice from her loved ones, as she aims to avoid falling into the harmful behaviour of her previous life. “I was very emotionally abusive to my partners in my youth,” she states. Through dialectical behavioural therapy, she has been able to mitigate her NPD symptoms, and she says she and her significant other “have a dynamic where I’ve instructed him, ‘If I say something messed up, when I use toxic language, address it {right then and there|immediately|in the moment’.”

Her childhood primarily in the care of her father and explains there was an absence of supportive figures in her youth. I’ve had to teach myself continuously what is acceptable versus unacceptable to say when arguing because I never had that as a kid,” she says. There were no boundaries when my relatives were belittling me in my early years.”

Root Causes of The Condition

Personality disorders tend to be connected with early life adversity. “There is a genetic component,” explains a consultant psychiatrist. But, when someone develops narcissistic traits, it is often “tied to that individual’s particular early environment”. Those traits were “a coping mechanism in some ways to cope in formative years”, he adds, when they may have been neglected, or only shown love that was dependent on meeting particular demands. They then “continue to use those identical strategies as adults”.

Like several of the NPD-diagnosed people, John (a pseudonym) thinks his parents “could also have the disorder. The 38-year-old shares when he was a child, “their needs came first and their work and their social life. So it was like, don’t bother us.” When their they engaged with him, it came in the form of “intense expectations to achieve high marks and life achievements, he notes, which made him feel that if he didn’t meet their standards, he wasn’t “good enough”.

When he became an adult, none of his relationships ever worked out. I didn’t truly value about anyone really,” he says. Therefore, I never treated relationships seriously.” He believed he wasn’t loving someone, until he met his current partner of three years, who is diagnosed with BPD, so, like him, finds it hard to manage emotional regulation. She is “very supportive of the stuff that goes on in my head”, he notes – it was actually she who first suspected he might have NPD.

Pursuing Treatment

After a visit to his general practitioner, an assessment was arranged to a therapist for an evaluation and was informed of his condition. He has been put forward for psychological counseling via government-funded care (ongoing counseling is the primary approach that has been proven effective NPD patients, clinicians explain), but has been on the treatment delay for an extended period: The estimate was it is likely to occur in a few months.”

Disclosure was limited to a handful of people about his condition, because “prejudice is common that every person with NPD is harmful”, but, personally, he has embraced the diagnosis. “It helps me to comprehend my actions, which is positive,” he says. Those interviewed have accepted their narcissism and are seeking help for it – leading them to be open to talk about it – which is probably not representative of all people with the diagnosis. But the presence of NPD content creators and the rise of digital groups indicate that {more narcissists|a growing number